Wednesday, June 21, 2006

IER Denies Accusations of Bigotry and Hate-Mongering

Members of the Indo Eurasian Research Group, the country's largest Angry Harvard Lat*in* Scholars, vowed today to continue the "battle" against modern science. They were railing against the shocking news that the University of Massachussetts is conducting a conference to laugh at their their Neo-Nazi Aryan Invasion Theory. It may be recalled that Harvard Professor Herr Lat*in*fuehrer Witzel and his WitzelJugend of 117 SouthAsia Scholars have been stumped by the question of how horses came to pose with their backsides to the camera in Harappa and Mohenjodaro, mimicking Harvard faculty photos taken over 5000 years later.

IER's Lat*in* Scholars bitterly complained that the UMASS conference was aimed to "snuff out any scholarly momentum on the part of REAL Indology scholars."

The IER's predicament is eerily reminescent of their role models, the National Alliance. Dr. Shuna Sedhoy, the IER's most famous Ikonomics scholar and the role model for the Downstairs characters in "Upstairs-Downstairs", was especially bitter. "As you know, the National Alliance are nice and kind massahs. They can sing cultured European songs like "Horse Wizel Lied". They were so kind to me, by giving me a Fellowship at the Alabama Center for Pure White Thought, where the Motto is "Kill 'em All, Let Gawd Sort 'em Out!" I was in charge of the outhouses, both the Gents and the Ladies', and I was also in charge of cleaning the lawns of the dog-poo. It was excellent training to be a Lat*in* Scholar.

The majority of Americans have no standards, you know - they allowed all these technically trained brown Hindoos into North America! I am an Ikonomics PhD and I am only a Lecturer in a lousy sixth-rate school in Antarctica!"


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