Sunday, March 05, 2006

FEB. 27 designated "HINDU KUSH DAY"

President Musharraf Congratulates Professor Witzel.

Congratulations poured in from around the world for Professor Witzel and his assistant Steve Alan Farmer after their brilliant victory over the Hindutvaadins in Sacramento. Herr Fuehrer Lars commended the "samurai" Witzel and Farmer, and hyperventilated that the Hindutva would never rise again. General Musharraf described the 5-0 victory inside 1 minute of deliberations on the list of 77 edits, as "the greatest victory since my Referendum in 2003". His message said:

"Even in Gujranwala I was able to get only 98 bejent abbroval onlee, even with 1200 bejent of the registered voters voting early and often. What you have done is a small step for a Nazi, but one giant leap for the California Board of Education and all other dictators and kangaroos- I mean Chief Executives! You gave them the ballot with the vote written on it already. Brilliant!"

Professor Witzel himself had described the decision by the California Curriculum SubCommittee several hours before it was made, in a prescient email posted to his followers like us on the Indo-Eurasian Research Forum. It was titled "HINDUTVA ROUT IN CALIFORNIA" and celebrated the decision that the Committee had assured him they would take, regardless of what the Hindutvaadins said on that day.

"Zis is sehr gut! Es ist das Blitzkrieg von das Hindu Kush!" said Professor Witzel's classmate Hans Bormann, head of the ODESSA. General Musharraf agreed in his letter. "In 1948 when the Pakistani Army -er - I mean Mujaheddin - rolled into Skardu, the commander sent a message to Headquarters. It was short and sweet:

"All Hindus and Sikhs killed. All women raped and captured for further use". We have been trying to win such a victory over Hindus but THE DAMN YANKEES WON'T EVEN LET ME NUKE THEM!" I WANT THEM ALL DEA*! PLEASE KI** THEM AND *UT THEM INTO *IE*ES LIKE GOHAR AYUB KHAN PROMISED!

Well, General Musharraf, we wish you a long dictatorship - I mean Chief Executionership - and please allow the next IER team visiting Harappa to carry their own two truckloads of "Southern Comfort" with those pictures of hindu goddess serving liquor - you know, that picture was designed by a Harvard Indology and Pornography Dual Degree graduate? They used Professor Witzel's new "IPAC" conslutancy service, and Professor Thapar and Professor Shenoy posed as the models for the two whisky jugs. Also, please don't ask about the strange-smelling smoke rising from our tents. We have to be "flying" before we can see Harvard professors' faces on those Harappan seals.

Assistant Farmer was not available for comment. There is no truth to the rumors that he was exhibiting severe withdrawal symptoms at the hearing, although it is true that attendees had to go through a metal detector and there were some cute Dobermans sniffing at everyone's pants and backpacks. Stay tuned.
Credit for picture:


Anonymous Anonymous said...

March 05, 2006 9:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rumor has it that the celebrated artist MF Hussain is going to pay homage by painting Smt Thapar in her full glory riding a german (thats a small g - is there a tiny g ?) rod.

March 06, 2006 9:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WRT ""HINDUTVA ROUT IN CALIFORNIA" Reminds me of the site:

March 10, 2006 4:33 PM  
Anonymous prabhu said...

Lies under banner of truth

In the ensuing educational issue at California, Prof. Witzel and his list of 50 odd scholars from across the world have created and subscribed to generalized theory on relationships between people, organizations, political parties, history and events. Examples of this include
a) misrepresenting people’s relationship with "Hindu" organizations (RSS, VHP) as display of the individuals "Hindutva" fundamentalism
b) linking events such as Gujarat riots to any individual because he/she happens to be a "Hindu".

Upon applying this generalized theory, one could also arrive at similar absurd conclusions such as 1) all European Americans are linked to the holocaust involving Native Americans since the days of Christopher Columbus when the land was conquered,
2) all Germans are linked to the prosecution of Jews since Hitler’s days.

While citing the cleaning of links on other websites (HEF/WAVES) as a display of malpractice and hence unworthy to consult with the CDE, Prof. Witzel diverted the focus from an exact practice from his letter to the CDE. Dr. Palaniappan, one of the co-signatories of Witzel's letter to the CDE on November 8th,2005 (http://www.people.fas., was represented with two different signatures - "Ph.D, University of Pennsylvania" and as "Ph.D, Indology, TX" in another.

In either ways, Dr. Palaniappan is not an Indologist by qualification. He holds a doctorate from University of Pennsylvania in Transportation Engineering and doesn’t have any academic degree related to Indology other than through personal interests.

One can verify Dr. Palaniappan's qualification in under Prof. Edward Morlok from his own website:

His doctoral work reads (as of March 2nd, 2006): "Palaniappan Sudalaimuthu, "Profit-Maximizing Supply for a Scheduled Urban Transportation Carrier", Ph.D., December 1985 (Senior Planner, Dallas)".

We don’t know if Prof. Witzel is working to convert Palaniappan's background in Transportation Engineering to "Indology" to be consistent with his claim on the letter to the CDE.

By applying Witzel's generalized theory, such a misrepresentation could fire back on the remaining scholars who belong to academic institutions of highest reputation across the world including Harvard, Berkeley, MIT, Yale.

We are sure that the other co-signatories themselves don’t support or condone such a misrepresentation of the fact as it will violate their academic and ethical standards. It is but surprising how all the co-signatories subscribed to this lie including Witzel's right hand Prof. Farmer.

Romila Thapar and Prof. Michael Witzel may have strived hard in forming “The Academic Indology Advisory Council” (, in an effort to represent the truth, but the representation of Dr. Palaniappan qualification as an Indologist is a complete deviation from truth.

Perhaps witzel's junta always lie.

March 24, 2006 7:14 PM  

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