Prof. Witzel Wins Dharma Debate!
Congratulations to Professor Witzel! At a debate conducted by the "dharma" student organization at Harvard University on February 3, Professor Witzel brilliantly fought back against a determined effort to unsettle him by throwing deep Sanskrit sentences at him. IRFAN has some difficulty in getting the audio tapes of this meeting and transcribing what was on it (there seemed to be a strange sound like that of 75 people giggling at once..) but we managed nevertheless, and bring you the precise, unedited version, EXCLUSIVE TO IRFAN.
First, in Professor Witzel's own words at IER:
"Ze Hindootvadis are trying to test me! Ihren sprechen im das Sanskrit und Ich repliert im das Sanskrit. Dumbkopfen Braminen vere showing off zeir zuperiority! To ME! An ARYAN!
Way to go, Prof. Witzel! Showed them, didn't we?
IRFAN has obtained an exact transcription from video of the event.
At 7:03:03:02 - Professor Witzel is speaking. Sounds like: "Zees natives are all ze accountanten und engineeren. Ze are not like me! Ich hab spent funf jahren im das Nepal und ich bin sie greatest expert in ze entire WELT! Ich bin ein Linguist!"
7:03:45:04 - minor disturbance in audience. A mother seen grabbing for , but missing, her brat, age circa 5, wearing uniform of Hahvahd Wunderkindergarten and DayCare Center. Brat jumps up, and yells:
"TERA FLY KHULA HAI!"
7:03:46:15: Professor Witzel: Pauses, looks straight at brat. Smiles. One can almost see the brilliant Linguistic Brain spinning at Hyperdrive, interpreting, sorting, placing, dissecting, analyzing, and coming up with the super deduction.
7:03:46:20: Pindrop silence broken by a few inexplicable giggles around the room.
7:03:47:30: "Aham Arya KULA Chakravathin Asmi!"
7:03:47:36: Pindrop silence erupts in wild cheers! People laugh out loud from joy! papers and books tossed into the air!
7:04:02:20: Audience settles down a bit. Professor Dino Eek rushes out with a "Peetambaram" (yellow turkey towel with a giant "HOLIDAY INN" printed on it) and wraps it around Prof. Witzel's waist as a mark of honor and respect for so brilliantly winning that debate with the kindergartner. Embarassed mother lifts brat by the waistband and carts him out of the hall!
That was not all...
7:43:21:20 Professor Witzel was just finishing recounting his experiences in Nepal, and saying: "I veesh I could hab stayed in ze Katmandu for ze long zeit!"
Interruption: A hand sticks up. Professor Witzel points to the questioner.
Questioner (a 4th-grader from Cambridge Elementary):
"Hey, mister! My older brother told me to tell you:
'Jo Kaatmandoo mein gandoo
woh Leiden aur Boston mein bhi gandoo"
Pindrop silence. A few sharp intakes of breath.
7:43:30 Professor Witzel has finished parsing, dissecting, deconstructing and linguisticizing that, and understood the very origins of that Sanskrit "sloka" perfectly. It is from the Rig Veda. Composed on the shores of the Black Sea, which is not far from the Black Forest, in 1221 BCE. Calls for an appropriate response:
Professor Witzel: "Bhavitavyam bhaved eva. Aham WitzelaH Asmi".
Audience erupts again. Wild applause at this beautifully simple, lucid answer. Thoroughly defeated in debate, the stunned kindergartner is dragged out of the hall by the ear, by his irate Big Sister.
Way to go, Professor Witzel! Try to stump you with dem long, complicated Sanskrit quotations, will they? Heh-heh!
Please don't believe reports by the Hindutva that Herr Doktor Witzel, Wails Professor of Sanskrit at Harvard University, was crushed in a debate on his area of competence by a *****drumbeat**** 23-YEAR-OLD BUSINESS STUDENT ********** AN "ACCOUNTANT"!!!!***